Pity Party Checklist

I’ve made a decision. No more “Pity” parties! I mean it!
I attended the pity party of a close relative two days ago and I am still trying to recover. I realize everyone needs a shoulder or sympathetic ear sometimes and I believe I have a responsibility to help in any way I can. That is not what this post is about.

This is about getting sideswiped by some else’s depressing issues. Anyone who has ever listened to the bitter woe is me, everybody done me wrong, break out the violin, ravings of a person caught up in reliving past slights, knows exactly what I mean. These exchanges are draining. They leave you emotionally and physically exhausted. You hang up the phone or stagger away feeling punch drunk.

I’m done with that! I’ve compiled a checklist of pity party topics that I will no longer be available to discuss. Be advised; if you’re feeling sad for any of the following reasons call someone else.

1. Your mother/father said something to hurt your feelings before you reached the age of puberty and you still resent her/him.
2. Every loss or disappointment you’ve ever experienced is your mother’s/father’s fault.
3. All of your siblings love each other, but, none of them love you.
4. None of your children love you.
5. Animals and babies don’t like you.
6. You feel like a Sam Cooke song lyric: “It’s too hard living, but you’re afraid to die.”
7. You didn’t take your meds.
8. You feel like a Steely Dan song lyric: : “Drink scotch whiskey all night long and die behind the wheel.”
9. No one has ever treated you fairly or given you a chance…ever.
10. The fifth glasses of wine opened your eyes to just how pitiful your life really is.
11. The boy you liked in high school is happily married to your sister.
12. You refuse to face your demons.
13. You feel like crying for no particular reason.
14. You’re waiting for the Sweet Chariot to swing low and come to carry you home.

This topic list will be updated periodically as I’m sure I’ll get caught not paying attention and get sucked into a few more of these conversations. If you’d like to add to the list, feel free. Your comments are always welcome.