Loving Yourself: A Sacred Journey and Divine Responsibility

Loving yourself is how you honor the One who made you and called you worthy before you did a single thing to earn it.

When Jesus said, “love your neighbor as yourself,” He slipped something important into that commandment that we often gloss over. The assumption that you love yourself. That self-love is the baseline, the starting point, the foundation from which all other love flows.

But for many of us, that foundation is shaky at best.

We’ve been taught that putting ourselves first is selfish. That our needs should come last. That a good woman pours herself out for everyone else and somehow refills from an empty well. And so we’ve spent years, sometimes decades, running on fumes and calling it faithfulness.

Here’s what I’ve come to understand: loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s stewardship. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, a walking, breathing creation of the Divine. To neglect yourself, to speak harshly to yourself, to deny yourself the compassion you’d freely offer a stranger is to dishonor the One who made you.

Why This Is So Hard

If self-love were easy, we’d all be doing it. But most of us are carrying weight that makes it difficult.

There’s unprocessed trauma that taught us we weren’t worthy of gentle treatment. There’s conditioning from childhood, from culture, from relationships that told us we were too much or not enough. There’s perfectionism that keeps moving the finish line, so we never quite arrive. And there’s the fear of actually looking at the parts of ourselves we’ve spent years hiding or rejecting.

All of this creates a wall between us and the kind of self-love that could actually change our lives.

But here’s the truth that sets us free: self-love isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about accepting that you’re already worthy of love, right now, exactly as you are. Not when you lose the weight. Not when you heal all your wounds. Not when you finally get it together. Now.

What the Journey Looks Like

Loving yourself is a practice, not a destination. It’s something you choose daily, sometimes hourly, in the small moments when no one is watching.

It starts with self-compassion. The willingness to extend grace to yourself when you fall short. To speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a dear friend who was struggling. When that harsh inner critic starts up, you learn to interrupt it. Not with toxic positivity, but with truth. “I made a mistake, and I’m still worthy of love. I’m learning. I’m growing. This doesn’t define me.”

Healing your wounds is part of the journey too. The pain you’ve been carrying doesn’t just go away because you ignore it. It leaks out sideways, showing up in your relationships, your health, your sense of worth. Bringing it to God, to a therapist, to a trusted mentor, to your journal, to whatever practice helps you release it, that’s self-love in action. That’s you saying, “I matter enough to do this hard work.”

Setting boundaries is another form of loving yourself. Jesus himself withdrew to pray. He didn’t give every moment to the crowds. He rested. He said no. And if He needed that, surely, we do too. Protecting your energy isn’t selfish. It’s how you stay whole enough to give from a full cup instead of an empty one.

Gratitude shifts everything. When you start noticing what’s right about you instead of cataloging what’s wrong, something opens up. Try this: at the end of each day, name three things you appreciate about yourself. Not what you did for others. What you appreciate about you. Your resilience. Your humor. Your ability to keep going when things get hard. Let yourself see your own goodness.

Embracing imperfection might be the most radical act of self-love there is. Perfectionism is a cruel master. It promises that if you just try harder, do more, be better, you’ll finally be enough. But enough never comes. Grace says something different. Grace says you’re already enough, even in your weakness. Especially in your weakness.

And then there’s the practical side: nourishing your body, moving in ways that feel good, eating food that sustains you, resting when you’re tired. Your body is a temple, yes. But not in a way that should make you feel guilty. In a way that should make you feel cherished. You’re worth taking care of.

The People Around You Matter

Loving yourself also means being honest about who you’re allowing into your inner circle. Some relationships lift you up. Others drain you dry. Self-love means cultivating connections that reflect back to you the truth of who you are, not relationships that reinforce your wounds.

This doesn’t mean cutting everyone off who ever disappoints you. It means paying attention. Noticing how you feel after you spend time with someone. Ask yourself if this relationship supports your growth or keeps you small.

You deserve people who see you, celebrate you, and call you higher.

A Sacred Act

Loving yourself is one of the most spiritual things you can do. It’s not separate from your faith. It’s an expression of it. When you treat yourself with kindness, you honor the God who made you. When you set boundaries, you steward your energy for the purposes He has for you. When you heal, you make room for more of His light to shine through.

This is a journey, not a quick fix. There will be days when self-love feels impossible and days when it flows naturally. Both are part of the path.

Start where you are. Take one small step today. Speak one kind word to yourself. Set one boundary. Rest without guilt. And know that you’re not walking this road alone.

You are beloved. Fearfully and wonderfully made. And you are worthy of love, especially your own.

Be Blessed!

 

 

 

 

I write often about the quieter, harder parts of healing. If you’d like more of these reflections, come join me at my Heart of Healing community for women supporting each other through the messy middle of transformation. I’d love to have you with us.

Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash