What Are You Expecting?

“We always attract into our lives whatever we think about most, believe most strongly, expect on the deepest level, and imagine most vividly.” ~ Shakti Gawain – Creative Visualization ~ 

I’ve had an interest in all things spiritual and mystical and magical since I was a child. I believed in spells, potions, witches, shamans, and healers. I believed that I could learn how to do magical things like heal people, take away their sadness so they could be happy. I believed I could have anything I wanted, just because I wanted it.

I knew things too. Things that I wasn’t supposed to know because nobody had told me. I could feel other peoples’ feelings. I could look at someone and sense things about them, things that were going on in their lives. I thought these ‘knowings’ were perfectly normal until I made the mistake of blurting out what I knew a couple of times. I didn’t realize I had a gift. It surely didn’t feel like a gift because I kept getting in trouble.

“Why is this child in my business?” or “Why is this child staring in my face?”

Back then, staring at an adult – especially in their eyes, might get your ass whipped. So I learned to keep my mouth shut and my eyes down.

We moved a lot and I attended three different elementary schools. By the time I started fifth grade and was enrolled in a Catholic school, I was already a nervous wreck. Then I learned about hell and sin and purgatory and the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And I graduated from nervous to terrified. The elevation to terror came about because I also learned I had no secrets. They knew everything. Everything I had ever thought, wanted, felt, contemplated, and believed was known by God the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. And I knew I was doomed.

All of the magical, mystical things I believed in were wrong… they were sinful… and would send me to hell – for all eternity.

What You Don’t Know CAN Hurt You

Although I wasn’t consciously aware of it, that scared little girl never healed. She was stuck inside of me and we (she and I) spent the next thirty plus years living in fear, imagining the worst possible scenario for just about every situation I found myself in – expecting to spend eternity in hell – running from Jesus Christ. I was especially afraid of Him, because he’d died for me, and I had let Him down.

My life was a series of one hellish experience after another, and another and another…

I expected hell and my expectations were fulfilled.

Can you look underneath your doubts, anxiety, fears? Chances are there is something deeper that has caused the problem. As you find the courage and commitment to get to know your fears, healing and transformation can begin.