At some point along the way I stopped writing my reality. I stopped sharing my spiritual journey.
When I started this blog in February 2011, I was in the process of renewing my walk with God and recovering from an extended (7 years) bout of depression. The clouds weren’t gone, but they had started moving out and if I looked real hard I could see the sun.
I had come to understand that God had never left me. I was the one who had stopped speaking to Him because I felt He had abandoned me. In anger and hopelessness I had moved myself into a house of sadness.
The purpose of this blog was clear when I began:
- Learn the rich and wonderful lessons the Lord was teaching me
- Share those lessons with His children
So, what happened? I strayed into the blogging for money arena and my priorities became fuzzy and distorted.
Don’t get me wrong.
Blogging for money is a good thing as long as it’s kept in perspective; as long as it doesn’t consume you; as long as it’s not your reason…
It’s when going after the cash has become a priority, that it’s not a good thing anymore.
Writing as the Spirit led was slowly replaced by writing for profit. I became a “professional blogger”. I started new blogs with an eye toward monetizing them and I worked hard to build them. The downside was, I slipped further and further away from my initial purpose and reason for producing content on the World Wide Web which was to honor and glorify God.
I got lost.
I’ve run myself ragged trying to maintain two blogs and an online magazine. It’s not working… and I’m not having fun anymore.
But I’m stubborn and I really don’t want to let any of it go.
I will though, because I must.
No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will stand by and be devoted to the one and despise and be against the other. You cannot serve God and mammon ([deceitful riches, money, possessions, or whatever is trusted in). Matthew 6:24 (AMP)
I thought I understood this principle. But I didn’t… or maybe I simply forgot.
I began this journey for one reason.
I’m ready to come home.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Link back to All Things Fadra (feel free to use her SOC Sunday graphic).